It's not just a heterosexual thing either. Gay porn is full of Eastern European and Russian young men, barely more than boys, who would probably rather be doing anything else but are totally out of choices in life and trapped in borderline sex slavery. It's gross.
I know that the Czech Republic is the porn central of Europe, after Hungary was in the 2000s, so maybe that’s why too. I remember reading they had some crazy amount of porn stars per million people (something like 85 per million versus 25 in the US).
I still remember the glassy, vacant looks in some of those boys' eyes. It made me stop using porn. They were either higher than Mount Kilimanjaro, or they were planning their own suicides, or both.
I know a few men with beautiful Russian wives. These are all rich, powerful men, but they were working in Russia in their twenties. They were neither rich nor powerful then, but Western men can still do WAY better in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus,..., than here in the US. I am married to a Thai woman, and many of her friends are married to American men, but they all live in the US. I suspect American female distrust/distaste for marriage might be a important factor.
For whatever reason, anywhere American men go, if they are single, they come back with wives. Perhaps this is more about how relatively unattractive American women are from a marriage perspective as opposed to American men being especially attractive. I have no idea, but I can tell you that when I started travelling in my late teenage years, women seemed to like me a lot more outside the US. Similarly, when I lived in the Far East, women who worked there did not seem to care for the locals, while the men seemed to all end up marrying them. Perhaps American men still believe in family, while American women have given up on the concept.
I think in Russia’s case it’s a more traditional society without a prevalent anti-male sentiment (obsession with patriarchy, sexism etc) and because of all the historical suffering and losses throughout the 20th century men aren’t taken for granted, and women generally want to have families. Also, there’s a strong culture of femininity, making an effort regarding appearance, it’s considered faux pas not to.
It seems to me that women outside the US (maybe Western Europe too) like men more as a whole. Not because the women are weak or oppressed but just because this is a normal thing. In modern Russia I haven’t noticed that women are particularly interested in foreigners, like they were in the 1990s, but I think the draw with Western men could be that they are more often involved in household things, raising kids etc, and also so unspoilt in regard to being constantly catered too and expecting the woman to look like a goddess at all times that they noticeably appreciate these things.
“But the expats were definitely there, salivating over the hopelessly poor, hot girls in skintight dresses. The gorgeous girls often led lives of near starvation with no social elevator out of the poverty except a man, any man, and their only capital was looks. Since the Russian men were in similar despair, it was these foreigners they banked on. I’m sure there was the odd young dreamer in there too, thinking she’d met a prince or decent human being.”
I witnessed this. My girlfriend spoke fluently and was part of a first wave (possibly the ONLY wave) of commerce Peace Corp from First Boston and other banks sent to help a fledgling capitalist economy thrive in the small slice of hope before the current regime rose to quash it.
What’s worse is I witness it now as my X husband, a man of high military standing now retired and getting up there in age has been wooed by a young Moscow nurse into marriage and migration to avoid being sent to the front lines. I worry about him, gullible good soul that he is.
The manipulation is real and continues, so unfortunately it’s hard to shake the stereotype. I wish it were all different. I really do. It just seems that for all of us, small leaps for change get churned back into the pot of degradation and desperation for which humanity refuses to change the recipe.
Few people who lived through this have forgotten what it was like and in the end I think that’s why trust for Western plans and intentions is still so low.
I hope it doesn’t end badly for the ex-husband.
We have an expression that goes “everyone thinks themselves a strategist, watching the battle from the sidelines” – I think the nurse is perhaps surviving as best she can and I feel that from the safety and wellbeing of my position I can’t judge.
I agree, unfortunately that's just the way it goes, the strong eats the weak.
Isn't that the point of this war. The tribe wants the land and killing all the males will allow them to take what is left. Russia needs to just commander all of Ukraine. There is no other option. If not, they Wilma be attacked or provoked to be attacked in the future.
I got a taste for Russian women back in the States. Ended up marrying one too fast and she turned out to be crazy. (Tried to kill me. Long story.)
Tried again and found a good one. The first year of marriage is the hardest, but I have found her to be an exceedingly high quality woman.
I can advise anyone not to marry a Russian who is in love with the States, especially if you like to travel. She has no desire to go back to the States, and I rarely do, so it works out well.
This was a great and informative read. It saddens me that Global North centricity (even ignorance), repeatedly manifests in the form of violence upon the bodies of women. Of course, some of this violence is overt, and some covert (also resulting in the form of the hyper-sexualised gaze you have described). Personally, I have seen these views play out adversely for women from West Asia, for example, again resulting in the debate of what women should/shouldn't wear, forgetting this should be a matter of choice. Or even the gaze upon South Asian women, where the female body could be anywhere along the spectrum from poverty porn, to exoticized, or in some instances, shock, when women raise their voices to speak out against oppression.
Your insights on the sex ratio getting skewed post WW2 reminded me of the hyper-sexualisation of black women in the US as well. Sending love and solidarity. Long live intersectional feminism <3
Thank you for your comment. It’s sobering to see how thin the veneer of civilization is when no one is looking. I think there’s also an almost savage us vs them othering visible in actions that speak louder than words, with “all animals equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
Isn't Russia part of that global "North?" I have a feeling that many ugly stereotypes are pushed on poor women from various countries in order to build up women who seek to look better in comparison. Perhaps what we really need is to stop obsessing over group identities and instead actually work to make life better for everyone. I do not care what clothing women choose to wear, and I do not want to. We need radical independence and individualism, not more tribal BS among nationalities, races, ....
Nowadays I think Russia aligns itself with the global South and considering the overall “Russia in the arch enemy, Satan etc” narrative everywhere 24/7 I wouldn’t say it’s part of the North. I read that the World Bank categorizes North/South by GDP (more or less than $15K per capita) but maybe this is old info, under this Russia’s South.
Absolutely agree about identities and tribal stuff.
What I meant by my comment and post is that it seems most people are completely unhinged when it’s a no-rules scenario, which is what we had in Russia/Moscow with the expats in the 1990s, even those from the most developed, civilized, raffiné etc societies.
I know of that one but haven’t seen it, glad you liked it!
I think most of the great Russian films aren’t lighthearted (Come and See by Elem Klimov, Tarkovsky, Zvyagintsev – The Return is my top one, then Loveless, Leviathan). They’re difficult watches, especially Come and See which is devastating but a masterpiece.
There’s also a cohort of Soviet comedies which I’m not a great fan of though they’re culturally huge and people love them (ones I like are Ivan Vasilyevich Changes His Profession 1973 and Kin-dza-dza 1986). They’re quirky and old-school.
The modern ones are either more arty or commercialized Hollywood-y. Hollywood-y – Burnt by the Sun, Stilyagi/Hipsters, Legend 17 etc. Arty – Lungin’s film Island, Captain Volkonogov Escaped, Arrthymnia etc. A big one in the 1990s was Brother and Brother 2, very gritty and politically incorrect, a perfect capture of the time period and the actor in it is iconic as a representation of a Lost Generation of Russian men, unfortunately died very young.
There are bunch of good modern shows that I think unfortunately would be untranslatable because they require a million layers of context, and I’m not aware of any with subtitles. That seems to be the big thing in entertainment now rather than film. On Netflix I know of “To the Lake”, which I liked, but I wouldn’t say it’s exceptional. Based on a book from 2011 about a global pandemic.
Beautifully written!! I have never contextualised any of this, thank you for sharing. I see my future as Baba Yaga as well!
❤️
It's not just a heterosexual thing either. Gay porn is full of Eastern European and Russian young men, barely more than boys, who would probably rather be doing anything else but are totally out of choices in life and trapped in borderline sex slavery. It's gross.
That’s sad.
I know that the Czech Republic is the porn central of Europe, after Hungary was in the 2000s, so maybe that’s why too. I remember reading they had some crazy amount of porn stars per million people (something like 85 per million versus 25 in the US).
I still remember the glassy, vacant looks in some of those boys' eyes. It made me stop using porn. They were either higher than Mount Kilimanjaro, or they were planning their own suicides, or both.
I know a few men with beautiful Russian wives. These are all rich, powerful men, but they were working in Russia in their twenties. They were neither rich nor powerful then, but Western men can still do WAY better in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus,..., than here in the US. I am married to a Thai woman, and many of her friends are married to American men, but they all live in the US. I suspect American female distrust/distaste for marriage might be a important factor.
For whatever reason, anywhere American men go, if they are single, they come back with wives. Perhaps this is more about how relatively unattractive American women are from a marriage perspective as opposed to American men being especially attractive. I have no idea, but I can tell you that when I started travelling in my late teenage years, women seemed to like me a lot more outside the US. Similarly, when I lived in the Far East, women who worked there did not seem to care for the locals, while the men seemed to all end up marrying them. Perhaps American men still believe in family, while American women have given up on the concept.
I think in Russia’s case it’s a more traditional society without a prevalent anti-male sentiment (obsession with patriarchy, sexism etc) and because of all the historical suffering and losses throughout the 20th century men aren’t taken for granted, and women generally want to have families. Also, there’s a strong culture of femininity, making an effort regarding appearance, it’s considered faux pas not to.
It seems to me that women outside the US (maybe Western Europe too) like men more as a whole. Not because the women are weak or oppressed but just because this is a normal thing. In modern Russia I haven’t noticed that women are particularly interested in foreigners, like they were in the 1990s, but I think the draw with Western men could be that they are more often involved in household things, raising kids etc, and also so unspoilt in regard to being constantly catered too and expecting the woman to look like a goddess at all times that they noticeably appreciate these things.
“But the expats were definitely there, salivating over the hopelessly poor, hot girls in skintight dresses. The gorgeous girls often led lives of near starvation with no social elevator out of the poverty except a man, any man, and their only capital was looks. Since the Russian men were in similar despair, it was these foreigners they banked on. I’m sure there was the odd young dreamer in there too, thinking she’d met a prince or decent human being.”
I witnessed this. My girlfriend spoke fluently and was part of a first wave (possibly the ONLY wave) of commerce Peace Corp from First Boston and other banks sent to help a fledgling capitalist economy thrive in the small slice of hope before the current regime rose to quash it.
What’s worse is I witness it now as my X husband, a man of high military standing now retired and getting up there in age has been wooed by a young Moscow nurse into marriage and migration to avoid being sent to the front lines. I worry about him, gullible good soul that he is.
The manipulation is real and continues, so unfortunately it’s hard to shake the stereotype. I wish it were all different. I really do. It just seems that for all of us, small leaps for change get churned back into the pot of degradation and desperation for which humanity refuses to change the recipe.
It wasn’t a “fledgilng capitalist economy” but calculated rape & plunder, I think Matt Taibbi outlines it well here https://www.dropsitenews.com/p/what-i-got-wrong-about-shock-therapy
Few people who lived through this have forgotten what it was like and in the end I think that’s why trust for Western plans and intentions is still so low.
I hope it doesn’t end badly for the ex-husband.
We have an expression that goes “everyone thinks themselves a strategist, watching the battle from the sidelines” – I think the nurse is perhaps surviving as best she can and I feel that from the safety and wellbeing of my position I can’t judge.
I agree, unfortunately that's just the way it goes, the strong eats the weak.
I appreciate your candid feedback. I will take your link with humility. At the time I only knew what we were fed in the west… go figure!
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Baba Yaga is regarded as a good person among feminists? What does that say about feminists?
btw, in that first picture the front girl's pants have a wet spot where her vagina is located. Maybe change the picture.
I love evil women
Isn't that the point of this war. The tribe wants the land and killing all the males will allow them to take what is left. Russia needs to just commander all of Ukraine. There is no other option. If not, they Wilma be attacked or provoked to be attacked in the future.
https://open.substack.com/pub/stevenberger/p/on-sexuality?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1nm0v2
It seems that many Russians, because of an inherent inferiority complex, wish they could be like Americans.
Too bad for them!
They could be something so much more, if only they knew!
I got a taste for Russian women back in the States. Ended up marrying one too fast and she turned out to be crazy. (Tried to kill me. Long story.)
Tried again and found a good one. The first year of marriage is the hardest, but I have found her to be an exceedingly high quality woman.
I can advise anyone not to marry a Russian who is in love with the States, especially if you like to travel. She has no desire to go back to the States, and I rarely do, so it works out well.
This was a great and informative read. It saddens me that Global North centricity (even ignorance), repeatedly manifests in the form of violence upon the bodies of women. Of course, some of this violence is overt, and some covert (also resulting in the form of the hyper-sexualised gaze you have described). Personally, I have seen these views play out adversely for women from West Asia, for example, again resulting in the debate of what women should/shouldn't wear, forgetting this should be a matter of choice. Or even the gaze upon South Asian women, where the female body could be anywhere along the spectrum from poverty porn, to exoticized, or in some instances, shock, when women raise their voices to speak out against oppression.
Your insights on the sex ratio getting skewed post WW2 reminded me of the hyper-sexualisation of black women in the US as well. Sending love and solidarity. Long live intersectional feminism <3
Thank you for your comment. It’s sobering to see how thin the veneer of civilization is when no one is looking. I think there’s also an almost savage us vs them othering visible in actions that speak louder than words, with “all animals equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
This is sadly so true. (And I've always loved this Orwell quote!)
Your comment reminded me why I'm a Sikh separatist.
Isn't Russia part of that global "North?" I have a feeling that many ugly stereotypes are pushed on poor women from various countries in order to build up women who seek to look better in comparison. Perhaps what we really need is to stop obsessing over group identities and instead actually work to make life better for everyone. I do not care what clothing women choose to wear, and I do not want to. We need radical independence and individualism, not more tribal BS among nationalities, races, ....
Nowadays I think Russia aligns itself with the global South and considering the overall “Russia in the arch enemy, Satan etc” narrative everywhere 24/7 I wouldn’t say it’s part of the North. I read that the World Bank categorizes North/South by GDP (more or less than $15K per capita) but maybe this is old info, under this Russia’s South.
Absolutely agree about identities and tribal stuff.
What I meant by my comment and post is that it seems most people are completely unhinged when it’s a no-rules scenario, which is what we had in Russia/Moscow with the expats in the 1990s, even those from the most developed, civilized, raffiné etc societies.
Someone cares what women wear, and if you don't then the fashion or someone else has them all walking around naked or fully veiled before marriage.
I wear a Sword and Turban outside the Orthodox and MENA areas people want to see me dead for that alone.
Even liberals and pedophiles are born with families so who's actually independent (let alone an individual)?
I know of that one but haven’t seen it, glad you liked it!
I think most of the great Russian films aren’t lighthearted (Come and See by Elem Klimov, Tarkovsky, Zvyagintsev – The Return is my top one, then Loveless, Leviathan). They’re difficult watches, especially Come and See which is devastating but a masterpiece.
There’s also a cohort of Soviet comedies which I’m not a great fan of though they’re culturally huge and people love them (ones I like are Ivan Vasilyevich Changes His Profession 1973 and Kin-dza-dza 1986). They’re quirky and old-school.
The modern ones are either more arty or commercialized Hollywood-y. Hollywood-y – Burnt by the Sun, Stilyagi/Hipsters, Legend 17 etc. Arty – Lungin’s film Island, Captain Volkonogov Escaped, Arrthymnia etc. A big one in the 1990s was Brother and Brother 2, very gritty and politically incorrect, a perfect capture of the time period and the actor in it is iconic as a representation of a Lost Generation of Russian men, unfortunately died very young.
There are bunch of good modern shows that I think unfortunately would be untranslatable because they require a million layers of context, and I’m not aware of any with subtitles. That seems to be the big thing in entertainment now rather than film. On Netflix I know of “To the Lake”, which I liked, but I wouldn’t say it’s exceptional. Based on a book from 2011 about a global pandemic.
I hope you discover some you like!
forgot a major one that's wildly popular and a glimpse into the national psyche, spurred a lot of national folklore, jokes etc
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069628/
https://substack.com/@mepaintsme/note/c-83388942?r=2gkqj0&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action